Inventory of Non-Original Films From the Last Decade

My goal in selecting films (especially at the movie theater) is to generally support original films. This is a necessity in a moviegoing landscape in which there’s barely air to breath for non-I.P. films.

However, I don’t bat .1000 and there is certainly a certain amount of films that are worth seeing anyway. Chris Nolan was originally hesitant to direct the Batman series because he didn’t want to be hemmed in. He eventually decided that he could make Gotham anything he wanted it to be and didn’t have to be beholden Tim Burton’s vision. It’s under that attitude that a lot of auteurs take these projects, and there is the plus of bigger budgets and paychecks . Or at least say that in hopes of stomaching the bigger paychecks.

However, there are limits in terms of the absurdity of these concepts. Perhaps to my detriment, I would not see Lego Movie no matter how good people said it was. A franchise based on toys that openly admits in the title that it’s a cash grab for merchandise sales? No thanks.

I looked through every non-original film I've seen in each of the years since I started keeping track of my movie viewing habits around 2002.

It should also be noted that some very acclaimed films like The Joker, Anatomy of a Fall, All Quiet on The Western Front, Mad Max Fury Road, Star Wars the Force Awakenings, Departed and Chicago were all unoriginal, so it's not necessarily an indicator of bad quality and there are levels to which these are original or unoriginal.

2024:

Borderlands-Video game Adaptation

Gladiator 2-Sequel

Wicked-Broadway adaptation

Madame Webb-Comic book adaptation

Inside Out 2-Sequel

Ghostbusters Frozen Empire: Sequel

Dune 2: Sequel

Best: Wicked certainly capitalized on the technical capacities of cinema. The color palette, richness of sound, and technical effects are more than enough to justify this cinematic adaptation. Not to mention, the Kubrick-like task of hand planting every rose for the multi-colored theme in the opening scene.

2023:

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny-Sequel

Asterisk and Obelisk-Comic book adaptation

Super Mario Brothers-Video game/TV adaptation

Haunting in Venice-Sequel (Remake)

Mission Impossible 7-Sequel

Book Club 2-Sequel

Anatomy of a Fall-Remake (Anatomy of a Murder)

Best: I applaud Haunting in Venice for going in new directions with the same character and theme. But the winner is Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny for doing so many things that one would think impossible for an action film with an 80-year-old lead. The film works with Harrison Ford’s age and continues to deliver realistic action scenes; it blends historical intrigue into its plot masterfully; it matches the tone of the original; it exhibits excellent chemistry between the leads; and it continues the motif of moving the film forward a decade and playing around in the entrapping of the 60s.

2022:

Enola Holmes 2-Sequel (Spin-Off)

Death on the Nile-Sequel (Remake/Literary)

Rosalie-spin-Off (Romeo and Juliet)

Dr Strange and the Multiverse-Sequel/Crossover

Valet-Remake

Top Gun Maverick-Sequel

Knives Out: Glass Onion-Sequel

Hotel Transylvania 4-Sequel

Batman-Reboot

Winner: Obviously, Top Gun. The film doesn’t aim for depth but feel-good summer fun with a dose of “USA Rules!” sentimentality, and it works. Tom Cruise never has to do much acting to simply be Tom Cruise, but the cast is a murderer’s row of younger stars and watching them have the time of their lives is where the party is.

2021:

Tick Tick Boom-Broadway Adaptation

Cruella-Live action remake

Space Jam 2-Sequel/Reboot

Legend of Shang-Tsi-Comic Book Adaptation

West Side Story-remake

Winner: Space Jam 2. The good-natured LeBron James can only carry the movie so far, but it’s really about these archetypic cartoons and the visual humor of the animators keeping up with them in the story. I

Edit: I forgot West Side Story, so yes, that. Remaking a classic is no easy task, and Spielberg and crew do an amazing job of reinventing each dance number with greater context and (I’m not going to say better; how can you top Jerome Robbins?) unique panache. The film is prescient and rich without feeling too bluntly political.

 

2020:
Bill and Ted Face the Music-Sequel

Rebecca-Remake

New Mutants-Spin-Off

Birds of Prey-Spin-Off

Prom-Musical Adaptation

Borat 2-Sequel (TV adaptation)

Enola Holmes-Spin-Off (Public Domain)

Downhill Remake (Force Majuere)

Sonic the Hedgehog-Video Game adaptation

Winner: Bill and Ted Face the Music is a sequel with a 29-year lag, so this was extra special watching it in a movie theater. It has a very unique sense of humor that harkens to the airheads of the 1980s with the twist that they are heroes on a cosmic scale: The fate of humanity somehow rests on them.

However, the American remake of Force Majuere is just the right combination of cringe humor and pathos to hit me in the right places.

2019:

Aladdin-Live Action Remake

Zombieland 2-Sequel

Men In Black International—Spin Off

Terminator Dark Fate-Sequel/Spin-Off

X-Men Dark Phoenix-Sequel (Reboot)

Jumanji Next Level-Sequel (Game Adaptation/Remake)

What Men Want-Remake

Joker-Spin-Off

Dumbo-Live Action Remake

Frozen 2-Sequel

If I went off my top ten list, it would be Joker, but is that really an intellectual property work. It’s mostly just a grand manifesto on the origins of violence marginally disguised as a superhero flick. I applaud it’s marketing and the fact that it could use the DC Comics banner to dupe a lot of low-literacy movie goers into seeing a more sophisticated film.

But in terms of a film that is riding the tails off a franchise, Zombieland 2 was a lot of fun. The chemistry of the gang, the comic relief provided by the Zoey Deutsch character, and in all honesty, I’ve never seen the zombie set-up done so well for a light comic relief angle.

2018:

Wreck It Ralph 2-Sequel

Tomb Raider-Reboot

Teen Titans Go to the Movies-TV Adaptation

Ocean’s 8-Reboot/Spin-Off

Ant Man and the Wasp-Sequel (Comic Book Adaptation)

Hotel Transylvania 3-Sequel
Solo-Prequel

Aquaman-Comic Book Adaptation

Overboard-Remake

A lot of serviceable entries here but no stand-outs. Solo has the epic feel of a Star Wars production and it’s not particularly bad. Alicia Vickaner, one of my favorite actresses, brings a certain credibility to Tomb Raider. Wreck It Ralph and Hotel Transylvania are among my favorite cartoon franchises. But the award goes to Aquaman. It’s so ridiculous (particularly from a science perspective), it goes back to being good again. This isn’t to suggest that Jason Momoa is as charming as he thinks he is, but he’s serviceable and doesn’t get in the way of the plot.

2017:
Cars 3- Sequel

Wonder Woman-Comic book adaptation

Kong: Skull Island-Prequel

Murder on the Orient Express-Remake
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End - Sequel

Murder on the Orient Express is a thinking man’s tent pole. The original was directed by the great Sidney Lumet and the cast had no less than six Oscar winners along with the incomparable Tony Perkins and Jacqueline Bisset. This one also has an all-star cast with  challenging roles to sink their teeth into. It’s easy in an ensemble piece like this for the plot to become an afterthought, but I found myself more into the plot than before. Was the CGI a little overdone? Admittedly, yes. Was Kenneth Branagh a little hammy? Sure, but it’s his damn movie, so I’ll let it slide.

2016:

Inferno-Sequel (Book adaptation)

Star Trek Beyond-Sequel

Now You See Me 2-Sequel

Suicide Squad-Spinoff/Comic Book Adaptation

Magnificent Seven-Remake

Batman vs Superman-Crossover

X-Men Apocalypse-Sequel (Reboot)

Finding Dory-Sequel

Ben Hur-Remake

Dr. Strange-Comic Book Adaptation

Alice Through the Looking Glass-Sequel

Ghostbusters-Remake

I’m calling a  four-way tie.

1)      Now You See Me is my guilty pleasure. I’m sure every aspiring musician has dreams of not just wowing the audience but using his abracadabra to play robin hood, engage in ninja fighting, and be among the world’s most popular celebrities. It’s wish fulfillment at its most blatant, but I’m here for it.

2)      Magnificent Seven gives us the pleasure of allowing some acting giants (Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke, Chris Platt) to play on the same time for once. There’s something incredible about a Western with authentic special effects. I’m sure Sam Mendes and Christopher Nolan would be complimentary of the explosives work that went into these battle scenes

3)      X-Men Apocalypse is a battle royale that juggles multiple storylines and character arcs in a way akin to a great ensemble film. Seeing Storm’s roots in Kenya or the Callabas’s equivalent of the dark web for mutant acquisitions. Quite a lot to play with.

4)      Finding Dory-There was a definite worry in the first half that Dory was just a drag on Nemo and Marlin. She was just grating, unappreciative, and not worth the trouble. But, man, the film hit me somewhere along the way. I was cheering and crying for the eventual reunion and in the same way that Ellen DeGeneres stole the show in Finding Nemo, Ed O’Neill surprised me in a big way here. Not to mention, you never go wrong with underseas visuals.

2015:

Jurassic World-Sequel/Reboot

Man from Uncle-TV Adaptation

Star Wars: The Force Awakens-Sequel/Reboot

Terminator Genysis-Reboot

Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2-Sequel

Hotel Transylvania 2-Sequel

Hot Tub Time Machine 2-Sequel

Pitch Perfect 2-Sequel

Ant Man-Comic book adaptation

Mad Max Fury Road-Reboot/Spin-Off

Not loving the aesthetic of Mad Max Fury Road, I’m tempted to go with Man from Uncle which oozed style and sophistication. However, Star Wars: The Force Awakens was another testament to the power of JJ Abrams as a storyteller. It seemed like the Star Wars story had come to a perfect conclusion, but JJ Abrams found a new angle on it.

2014:

Penguins of Madagascar-Spin Off

X-Men Days of Future Past-Sequel/Prequel

Into the Woods-Broadway Adaptation

Jack Ryan: CIA-Reboot

Captain America: Winter Soldier-Sequel

Into the Woods is definitely an unusually dark and playful musical even if there’s almost too much tragedy to take. Considering I feel like X-Men Apocalypse makes better use of its ensemble. Penguins of Madagascar is a weak entry in the field.

Seven Notes on the Surreal Third Season of the White Lotus

 

Credit: Global Watch Times

Notes on The White Lotus:
1. Patrick Schwarzenegger setting himself up for cancellation

If cancel culture and sites like Jezebel and Salon held more sway in today’s culture, Schwarzenegger would have been more hesitant to take the part of single-minded douche, considering the associations of the charges against his father. For those who don’t remember, the elder Schwarzenegger faced charges of sexual harassment when he was running for governor and he’s often been associated with a debatable brand of machoism. However, it warms my heart that Arnold Schwarzenegger has grown and is often seen as a voice of reason and compassionate masculinity in the press.

2. The naming of Saxon Ratcliffe is no coincidence

Patrick Schwarzenegger’s Saxon is a character you love to hate. He reflects the state of rich republicans and it’s certainly a fitting moment that even Duke University was quick to disown the Radcliffes publicly. It seems to have a broader context? Isn’t UNC always the more populist pick in the storied March Madness rivalry whereas Duke is the most hated college in the country for non-alumni? It’s also fitting that Saxon is his name, considering the Saxons are the tribe that conquered Great Britain, so this is the purest version of European whiteness one can get. Sidenote: By far, the richest and snootiest school district in Northern Virginia where I grew up is Langley High School which is home of the Saxons.

White Lotus is advertised with a tabloid/reality-TV veneer of “Come and get an inside look at the lusty lives of the mega-wealthy.” In the case of Saxon, his single-minded sex drive is connected to his power and desire to win at life. In molding his younger brother, that’s pretty much the only value he is instills in him.

Credit: Southern Living

3. Victoria: The show’s flattest character?

As much as I can’t stand Saxon as a character, he at least serves a purpose, which makes him watchable. In fact, I count three: 1) He’s a foil to Lochte, 2) He’s amusingly awful 3) We need someone to root for to get their comeuppance.

His mom, Victoria, (coincidentally a name intrinsically linked to British history), is just too caricatured to be realistic. To not know what country she’s in, or to not realize the benefits of her daughter having an alternate path to success (having “studied as a monk in Thailand” on your resume could look really good), makes her the worst character here. Parker Posey has received tremendous praise as an underground comedy darling, but this performance is miles below that reputation she’s cultivated. There’s no nuance here: She’s just a one-dimensional snoot.

4. Sam Rockwell: Unnecessary Cameo?

Alternatively, couldn’t Sam Rockwell’s character have been cut out entirely? The bizarre exploration of his kinks appeared overly tangential to the main plot, and it must have been quite the budgetary expenditure to get an Oscar winner on board. His only functional use was to keep Jim’s wife occupied while Rick had a moment alone with him. This could certainly have been bypassed in any number of ways considering Rick did 80% of the leg work.

Credit: Screenrant

5. The season seemed to have a rather casual view of suicide.

It’s rare to see suicide treated as a viable plot point in fiction, rather than an abnormal act of desperation. I’ve had suicidal thoughts (and no, I hardly care about the social stigma of admitting it) and I’m largely socialized to see those moments as my brain not working. However, there might also be value in acknowledging that it’s a practical solution, even if we still shouldn’t do it.

It might be interesting to analyze this suicide plot thread through the various religions that are explored in the show. The Ratliffe family becomes entangled in Buddhism through this journey, so it’s worth pointing out that suicide doesn’t fall in line with Buddhist teachings if you believe in karma. If the purpose of suicide is to escape your bad fortune (the exact reason for Timothy), then suicide doesn’t end the cycle of karma.

If we jump over to the origins of the church weighing in on suicide, my cursory research shows it was originally related to the seven deadly sins. The aesthetically focused church of the Middle Ages was about refraining from over-indulgence, and suicide came from despair which was the sin. This is ironic because Victoria instills her daughter Piper in a mild sense of hedonism: It’s a sin to go even a year of your life forgoing life’s modern amenities.

6. Belinda Turns into Tanya

I’ve always felt uncomfortable blaming Tanya for anything for oh so many reasons: 1) Belinda shouldn’t be praying on guests to help them out with her big investment; 2) Tanya gave her a fat envelope of money, that should be something; 3) If you’re trying to sell investors, you have to accept that if no contract is in place, they could back out at anytime; 4) If Tanya was an investor, she woItuld have had a say in the business, so Belinda dodged a bullet anyways.

On top of that, the Belinda-Tanya relationship was unfolding alongside the overriding narrative of Black Lives Matter. This was a movement I personally viewed as warping reason and putting Black people on too high of a pedestal. Under these optics, the criticism of the day was that Tanya HAD to be in the wrong because she was a White person not going out of her way to do right by a Black person.

It was refreshing in this season to have Belinda, the ghost of Tanya, and Pornchai simply be people and not stand-ins for the color of their skin.

7. The Ratcliffes Face the Most Open-Ended Fate in White Lotus History
With such high stakes and intertwining fates, a few people are bound to come on top in each season. I can appreciate the show’s feel good moments, but the Ratcliffe plot ended with a “What am I supposed to feel?” moment.

Timothy, Victoria, and Saxon are about to have their world blown to bits. Then again, it’s been pointed out that white collar criminals usually get off easy in this country, so maybe not. Whether Saxon learned anything from his incest scare is up for debate, though Patrick Schwarzenegger has said he tried to imbue things with a dramatic character arc. Lochte will probably be grateful to be alive. Therefore, Piper appears to be the biggest question mark.

Top 12 Shows of the First Half of 2025

1. Resident Alien (Syfy) – Long one of my favorite series on the airwaves, the increased entanglement of characters in the alien storyline has the potential to improve the sprawling ensemble piece into a tighter catharsis. It's only four episodes, but the infrastructure is really coming together.

2. The White Lotus (HBO) – The first three episodes were too slow of a burn for an eight-episode season. There were minor character tics that didn't quite land: The power lady trio never got hooky enough, the Scott Glenn character's actions made no sense, Sam Rockwell's relationship to his sexual and drug wagon were too tangential, and a White Lotus Parker Posey was more over-the-top than even a Christopher Guest Parker Posey. Still, this is by far, the best thing on TV and has so much ambition and craftsmanship at every step.

3. The Four Seasons (Netflix) – Unfairly compared to the original film by the critical sphere. Steve Carell, restless from his marriage (to Kerri Kinney), experiences a mid-life crisis and subsequent May-December romance that threatens to throw off the long-standing equilibrium of the friendship between three couples. The show's format of rotating over four vacations is clever. The show is largely populated with comedic actors, but it's oh so sweet, and the automatic reaction by the gang to the May-December romance is surprisingly salient.

4. Deli Boys (Hulu) – The show operates at that dark comedy level around Good Girls or the TV version of Fargo, but I'm not sure if I've seen a dark comedy that's so funny despite the WIDE proliferation of this genre. Poorna Jagannathan as the aunt steals every scene, and it's a blast seeing Brian George take on something new (speaking of something new, the Pakistani member of Queer Eye debuts as an Indian mobster). Aasif Ali and Saagar Shaikh handle every turn with this unique comic energy as if they've just boarded a roller coaster that they didn't know was going to be so intense.

5. Poker Face (Peacock)-Leans on the same three tropes every episode -- accidental murderer, detective in the right place at the right time, and deus-ex-machina to get the hero kicked out of her home every -- BUT Riann Johnson imbues every episode with movie-level quality. That's a pretty high level of consistency for a show that switches settings every episode

6. Ghosts (CBS) – My iTunes bill can confirm that I can't get enough of this show even when I think I've quit it. It's a rare sitcom that harkens back to the whimsical comedy of the mid-2000s as laugh tracks were getting left behind. It keeps expanding its world without losing charm: The show is the most evenly balanced and strongest ensemble.

7. Grosse Pointe Garden Society (NBC) – Even with a flat murder twist, the show delivers a compelling take on adulthood adrift and the intersecting plots are doubly rich. Two actors that have been begging for meatier work --Melissa Fumero and Josh Radnor -- turn in career-high work here.

8. America’s #1 Family (Amazon Prime Video) – Ramy Youssef pivots fully into comedy, shedding introspection for a breezier, punchier sitcom approach. It's an animated family sitcom and it fully uses the capacity of animation to make characters visually funny.

9. Black Mirror (Netflix) – Three episodes this season—Hotel Reverie, Bête Noire, and USS Callister: Into Infinity—were fully realized, while one episode (Eulogy) came close but ended up more of a downer than a provocative episode. Still, going four for six at this level of ambition this late into an anthology show's run is highly impressive.

10. Running Point (Netflix) – A sports-family sitcom powered by inspired casting—Kate Hudson, Drew Tarver, Justin Theroux, and Scott MacArthur—as siblings who inherit a basketball team. It moves fast, cleverly segments certain episodes to tangential stand-alone shots, and features a great array of guest stars.

11. Going Dutch (Fox) – Military culture gets a sharp satire here. The humor is a little broad at the dialogue level, but the basic premise-- a military support base that's exclusively designed for bowling, laundry, and cheese-making -- is pretty hilarious. The chemistry is so great between Taylor Misiak and Dennis Leary as a headstrong father and daughter working out their baggage years after childhood has ended, I'm here for it. Catherine Tate is miles better as a foil than she was on The Office.

12. Krapopolis (Fox) – Animated show set in a city adjacent to the glory of Athens. The show gets endless mileage out of reality-bending plots and mythology gags. There's plenty of amusing in-fighting within this clan, but it's more along the lines of a family sitcom, making it a kinder and gentler cousin to the nihilistic-leaning Rick and Morty and Solar Opposites.

What I'm Watching April-May Edition: Black Mirror, Poker Face, Blood Line, etc.

 

America’s #1 Family (Amazon); Ramy Yousef’s first series was poignant and packed wollops of sentimental value but let’s be clear: It was NOT a comedy, no matter what lies the golden globes or Emmys will try to feed me. The show still exists to give the Muslim community

much needed visibility, but it’s max funny. Leaning on the animated equivalent of fourth wall breaks, it had kinds of nods to old-school silliness with dream sequences of a kid’s teacher crush responding to her or the president popping in as guest star of the week.

Twisted Metal (Peacock): A post apocalyptic dark comedy with a certain aesthetic that screaming for you to notice it in the same way as a darker Wes Anderson, the Seth Rogen show Preacher or Robert Rodriguez. Anthony Mackie (the MCU) and Stephanie Beatriz (Brooklyn Nine Nine) are the leads, but the series seems to be hoping its scene stealer, Sweet Tooth, will be the draw. Voiced Will Arent, sporting a psychotic clown mask, and a roused body similar to Batman’s Bane, he’s painted as a poor man’s joker in his childish antics and his randomness over who he kills (which is the most fear-inducing quality of even a boring villain). In the first episode, he wants the protagonists to listen to his stand-up act which is supposedly its own form of hell. Sound menacing enough for you?

The dark quirk angle is there but not hard enough to make the show wholly can’t-miss. It’s watchable, not spectacular.

Black Mirror (Netflix)-This season had 3 spectacular episodes—Bete Noir, Hotel Reverie, and USS McCallister 2-which is enough to excuse the fact that Charlie Booker swings big and won’t always get it right. Even this analysis undersells Black Mirror's batting average: Each episode revolves around a deep question (the Peter Capaldi episode, for example, asks "Are there consequences to being billigerent to video game characters?") that the viewer might not be interested in answering (like myself). Thes Eulogy episode was also of strong and poignant, but Paul Giamatti's take was too dark for my mood that day. Personally I like my mopey Paul Giamatti to not get outright clinically depressed as this guy was.

Poker Face (Peacock) Charlie Cale’s penchant for being at the right place at the right time is handled organically enough that it doesn’t feel like half the gimmick it is on every other whodunnit show of this nature. But the Peter Falk imitation, oy vey, let’s not overdo it Natasha Lyonne. As I said in the first season, what makes Poker Face great is that justice isn't always served in some perfectly congruous way. Virtually the only constant is that Charlie will be left to pick up the pieces and start a new life. This isn't dissimilar from the Western hero who is forced to ride off into the sunset over the closing credits, because he would never fit into the civilized society he helped build.

Through four episodes of the second season, Riann Johnson's series whole-heartedly immerses us into different subcultures (funerary homes, abusive child acting, the Florida animal control that birthed Gator King, etc). One episode is a half send-up to the Departed with the comedic stylings of Lyonne, John Mulaney, Simon Helberg and Rhea Perlman inserted in the leads (and yet, it somehow works). Ano

Bloodline (Netflix)-Because I was just visiting the Florida Keys, I was reminded of this series that was one of Netflix’s first streamers in 2015. Interestingly enough, Despite not being up of the big murder plot, that’s the long arc of the season, I am actually finding that the show consisted me based on the scenery porn, The quality of the acting, the chemistry, And the dialogue. The basic family dynamics, and the sense of what is happening in the smaller sub pots are enough to keep me engaged. I think this makes sense though, Not all viewing is predicated on people following every element of the plot.

Srugim (Yes TV, now on Amazon)- After doing a film talk about Judaism on film, I was convinced to look at an Israeli show. Despite being half-Israeli, I've never been particularly attached to Israeli culture and didn't initially think this had much to do with my American Jewish experience. There's a lot to unpack in my detachment from Israel (an anomoly among the Tribe) and enjoying one show isn't going to repair such a gap, but the point of my exploration between Judaism and the media was to illustrate that the gaps in our understanding of religion start out from a pretty immense place (even between sects of Judaism), so the media has a surprisingly large amount of work to do in our religious messaging.

In this case, the show focuses on a specific class of Israeli Jews who are Sabbath-obervant but not secluded from secular society. This quintet is on the verge of 30 and preoccupied with settling down. That tends to happen across the board for religious devotees who can't get it on outside of marraige, and the show deals with that quite frankly. 

The show is labelled as a drama which is accurate, but it veers into a certain dramedy territory and finds the appropriate soft moments to balance out the emotional heaviness. The five leads (except maybe Reut) can be described as self-sabatoging or more charitably described as taking a while to find themselves. Either way, it's highly compelling TV.

 

Unpopular Opinion: The Filmic James Bond Doesn't Work

 I just read my first James Bond novel, “You Only Live Twice.”

Before going into detail over what the books or what some of the films do right, I would like to talk about my idiosyncratic reasons for having fallen out of love with the film version of the James Bond character. As always, please consider subscribing or paid subscribing.

1. James Bond is more or less immortal because the script demands it, and the film rarely acknowledges this. 

Sure, it gets parodied in Austin Powers, but the Bond series itself rarely acknowledges such implausible outcomes where if at least a dozen events were off by a few seconds, Bond would be toast. That the film series treats this all as a cosmic irony without so much as a wink makes the hero look cocky in a negative way. I see no reason to not have tweaked the scripts so luck would have been less of a factor.

In worst-case scenarios, it feels like a cheat, and in a cosmic way, as if Bond might be responsible for the deaths of those close to him since he has to survive and the script demands a sacrificial lamb. When secondary Bond girl Miranda Frost says to Bond, “sex for dinner, death for breakfast”, it’s not accurate in a literal sense: Bond does not kill or even fail to prevent the death of his sexual conquests through negligence.

However, take the example of You Only Live Twice when Bond has sex with Japanese agent Aki. As the two are sleeping after the act, an enemy ninja unfurls some poison that is meant to kill Bond but he sneezes and the poison is blown to Aki instead. Bond didn’t do it intentionally but if he were not a character in a movie and a news figure, why would he deserve to live over her?

2. Bond being the paragon of manliness but by all accounts being a “hit it and quit it” kind of guy.

Sure, it’s all between consenting adults (just kidding, there are at least two instances of rape that I remember off the top of my head), but why can’t he feel a sense of romantic love for anyone he encounters? Yes, there’s that one women he married, but that’s treated as a fluke. For the most part, Bond faces the convenience of the woman who doesn’t want strings, but that also means the character never has to face an actual point of possibly hurting someone and navigating a mature conversation about his partner’s feelings (except for the woman he raped in Thunderball, Patricia Fearing, who we see him dumping on screen; and sadly the Patricia Fearing rape/dumping is horrific but not fully out of character). What this implies is he’s likely dumping the Bond girls between movies, although who knows maybe a few of them might he mutual.

What does this all say about masculinity that this great hero of manhood conveniently gets to avoid any serious conversations.

There are a few exceptions before the Bond era: He shows genuine care about the secondary Bond girl (Paris Carver) in Tomorrow Never Dies, the main Bond girl in Living Daylights, and Sophia Marceanu in World is Not Enough. Bond also shows admirable restraint in View to a Kill; convincing enough that maybe he wasn’t thinking about bedding her the entire time.

3. Bond’s License to Kill- 

James Bond’s “License to Kill” has never made any sense. If it’s self-defense, then his right to kill is no different than anyone else’s. If it’s within the context of war or what a spy mission might entail, that would be governed by rules of engagement (i.e. the Geneva convention). But beyond that, you’re just a murderous a-hole. If the argument is that Bond can be trusted to make ethical decisions in the field over whether to pull the trigger, I see little evidence of this in practice.

Some might say “why does this matter? It’s just a movie?” Sure, but movies are carefully calibrated to lure audience sympathies to one side or another. The only reason to root for James Bond is that the other side is generally someone who will destroy the world if unchecked.

Sidenote: Proponents of intersectionality like to label James Bond as a prime example of all the isms: sexism, xenophobia, racism, etc. I will disagree there if we use the films as text that just because Bond is sexist, that he is also racist and xenophobic. I see no evidence that these traits of the literary character make their way onto the screen.

Best sketch of each episode sampler

I am transitioning more of my work to here as I keep chugging along:

The full list is at http://www.patreon.com/okjournalist

Jack Black:

First Play:

Jack Black has a certain rambunctious-yet-likeable comic energy that can carry lackadaisical sketches like everyone playing the base. First play might not have been the best Jack Black sketch of the night, but it was supremely clever. The kind of interplays with historical and meta concepts like imagining what a play would be like to people who had never been introduced to fiction: A lot to work with. Chloe shines here quite a bit.

Runners-Up: Kissing Nurse, Flying Sex Three Way

Mikey Madison: 

Group Chat Cold Open:
I generally skip the cold open. I’m rarely that impressed by a replay of the latest news conference with slightly augmented caricatures in place of politicians. On top of that, the Trump era is too depressing to want to relive it that much. But I admire cleverness in form. This is what’s known as cross-genre humor: A classic SNL political sketch mixed in with a teen slumber party. It’s also notable as the first attempt to try to fully enrich the satellite characters of politics like Pete Hesgueth and Marco Rubio

Runners-Up: Devin Walker as fitness guy at WU, Joanne’s Fabrics at WU, Jury Duty

I don't mind sketches that give every cast member 10 seconds to shine and Ego Nwodim plays a great straight man. Ashley Padilla is one I've been rooting for and this was the moment where what she has to offer to the show gelled together the best. Devin Walker had his best showcase of the season

Lady Gaga:
Lord Gaga on Weekend Update

It’s short and sweet but the sketch crafts such an absurdist backstory out of a known premise. It's also a little bit of a different flavor of Mikey Day.

Runner-Up: Friendly’s Birthday
It’s nice to have a sketch’s escalating elements be the addition of more cast members. It’s rare to get everyone in on the fun. One of the key ingredients of good comedy is when it hits a chord with something you’ve experienced but never voiced out loud. It’s surely everyone’s little secret that they’ve lied about when their birthday is to get a freebie somewhere.

Shane Gillis:
Wedding Interruption Coupon

The plot follows an arc similar to 12 Angry Men in a much sillier way. Shane Gillis is the equivalent to Henry Fonda. He interrupts a wedding, believing that he has a legitimate coupon for a blow job from the bride and is the sole outlier in the room. But then gradually it is revealed that Sarah Sherman’s character is the crazy one. In contrast to the rage that there was some misogyny in this sketch (it’s pretty clear this was an equal opportunity offender, and the haters just can’t get over Shane Gillis once against being let on TV after 5 years of paying his dues), I give credit to how organically they worked in Ashley Padilla’s angle of “one lesbian sess” or the non-sexual favors such as "foot rub" and "hugs and kisses for dad."

Runner-Up: I liked Shane Gillis last year, but this was a surprisingly thin episode

Timothee Chalemet:
Medcast

Rarely, do I think commercials are the highlights because it’s a tired format. But sometimes it hits and I think this one worked because it spread the laughs among three characters and multiple people doing bits like Emil Wakim and an unsuspecting Kenan Thompson admitting to having a lack of a sex life. The twist at the end that this was all made into an actual podcast really hit.

Runner-Up: Barista Training

This one has good fourth-wall breaking and Mikey Day and Heidi Gardner make great straight men. It’s always fun to watch the hosts show off their talents, and loved the political incorrectness of Timothee Chalemet playing a def jam comedian. I also loved the trope of having someone just flat-out leave the sketch in Jane Wickline just being "I don't belong here, good bye". I rarely see that in small-scale sketch comedy (i.e. I've taken sketch comedy classes)

Dave Chapelle: Evacuation Alert

Chapelle barely did anything in this episode after an extremely long monologue, so I barely had anything to work with, but this is a sketch with strong escalation. It involves a lot of what is known as noodling: Referring to a crazy situation that happens off-screen.

Martin Short: Sabado Gigante with Paul Rudd

Martin Short is among my favorite comic actors of all time, but what was this?? The monologue was too self-congratulatory and I'm against excessive cameos from the mainstays (i.e. Tina Fey, Kristen Wiig, etc.) on principle. I don't have much familiarity with Peanuts and it was an overuse of Bowen so I can't endorse that sketch. Airport parade was a lazy premise that didn't need to be rolled out twice. Parking lot altercation did not need to be recurred.

By process of elimination I have to go with Sabado Gigante which was a GREAT recurring bit. Ironically, it didn't even include the host but it did have Dana Carvey

Review of Two Period Pieces: Rules Don't Apply and Public Enemies

More of my work is migrating to Patreon, including writings on politics, culture, and how to publish. Feel free to follow me there. There are even free options.

 

Rules Don’t Apply (2016)-When you think about it, it’s kind of strange that Warren Beatty has only directed five films which is surprising considering his capital in Hollywood: He has a directing Oscar win under his belt, he’s renowned for his charm (in more ways than one, hint hint), and he has political tastes that align well with Hollywood. The last of them is a features iconoclast Howard Hughes. It’s likely not surprising that an iconoclast and ladies’ man like Beatty would relate to a visionary of a historical figure who had a big appetite for wealth, status, and woman. For those who thought Beatty was a shallow product of his era (who wasn’t a rebel in the 60s?), it’s admirable that Beatty knocks Hughes off his pedestal. The story is told from the point of view of a young woman (Marla, Lily Collins) who falls prey to Hughes’s charms and is left to suffer the consequences (AKA a pregnancy, he ignores until the epilogue).

In fact, it’s hard to find a more pessimistic take on Hollywood. Through the eyes of Marla, Hughes is just a microcosm of a whole system that will spit out Hollywood’s chaste young virgin girls once they get deflowered. Similarly, Marla’s true love (Alden Ehrenreich from Solo) is used the way most unpaid interns are. Howard Hughes has been a popular subject for Hollywood. Most notably in the 1980 film Melvin and Howard, and the 2004 film The Aviator. He was even alluded to in the Bond film Diamonds are Forever as the billionaire whose identity Blofeld alluded to. In these films, Hughes is depicted as an oddball who is trapped in a prison of his own making. His mental illness is always a clear part of the narrative, which enables the audience to feel a little bit of sympathy towards him. Without fully spoiling the ending, the film nicely finds a way to split the difference between villain and sympathetic character for the agoraphobic billionaire in the final scene.

Public Enemies (2009)-Considering how storied the genre of 30s gangster films is, I really was primed to sink my teeth into what should have been a prime example of what this genre offers. The film is by Michael Mann who is supposed* to possess God-like consistency, and it stars Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, and Johnny Depp. Could a casting director have selected any trio more suited to the period? If he’s not going as a pirate or gothic figurine, the next most likely choice for Depp’s preferred Halloween costume would be pinstripe-decked gangster. Similarly, Marion Cotillard has flapper written all over her. And Christian Bale is solid in whatever box you squeeze him.

The plot tells two parallel stories in the classic fashion of most crime genres: The cat-and-mouse game between a criminal and the man struggling to track him down. The mouse is notorious bank robber (played by Depp) John Dillinger (whose life was insanely interesting), while the cat (Bale) is Melvin Purvis who ran the Chicago office in charge of tracking him down. The character of Purvis isn’t given very much color. He’s mostly an archetype and inaccurate one at that: The real operation was directed by local law authorities until relatively late into Dillinger’s 14-month reign of terror. The script needed a composite character and, as previously mentioned, a broody Christian Bale in a crime movie gets the job done. However, this side of the story, while somewhat of a necessity, is mostly mechanical. One suspects that the script didn’t want to give the (even before the era of cancel culture) morally irksome J. Edgar Hoover (Billy Cudrup) a bigger role as the hero. It’s a shame though, because this is just burying the lead.

Dillinger isn’t necessarily given the hero treatment either. He’s portrayed as somewhat of a feral beast: Instinctually driven to protect his comrades and lovers. He’s also exceptionally clever which is what makes the action scenes so fun.  His famous prison escape scene with a decoy gun, whittled from wood, is played with the kind of claustrophobic tenor from an expert craftsman behind the camera. This is the rare film where I can even pick out the soundscape (the rat-tat-tat of the machine guns, especially) well enough to feel like it should have received a Best Sound nomination at the Oscars (I normally have a weak ear for that).

At the end of the day, the technical construction of the movie is solid but it doesn’t amount to enough “wow” moments to make the whole exercise feel more than typical.

What I'm Watching March Edition: Grosse Pointe Garden Society, Going Dutch, Deli Boys, Laid, Running Point

More of my work is migrating to Patreon, including writings on politics, culture, and how to publish. Feel free to follow me there. There are even free options.

 

Grosse Pointe Garden Society (Peacock): Four disparate grown-ups struggling with grown-up problems get caught up in a yet-to-be-revealed murder through a gardening society. Also, there’s a gardening society with the requisite scenes of hoeing and weeding, if you really are itching to see the title work itself into the plot somehow. Brett’s (Ben Rappaport) recovering from the emasculation of his wife leaving him and has a custody battle on the forefront; Alice (Annasophia Robb) is a teacher caught between kowtowing to a school’s rich benefactor and her integrity, on top of a rocky marriage and a dead dog; Catherine (Aja Naomi King) is the other woman in an extra-marital affair, but her regular marriage isn’t so hot either; and Birdie (Melissa Fumero) is a snooty (and quite fun) socialite who becomes entangled with her biological son and their adopted family. There are time jumps to this big tragic murder thingy six months out, but it’s not really a strong point of the show. Instead, this show is one of the best on TV for the four fully realized story arcs, the juicy drama, and the pointed classism satire. The arcs (particularly Brett and Alice) interact enough to give a sense of connection, and I’m assuming (I’m only halfway through) it will all point to some grand catharsis.

Laid (Peacock): Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet make a good pair of friends (with whom some nice tension develops midway through) who are investigating a supernatural phenomenon of all of Hsu's exes dying in a certain order. It's an unapolagetically sex-positive take on a woman who's gotten around, but that's not really new (Amy Schumer, Chelsea Handler, Broad City, Girl Boss have treaded this territory). In this take, there's an interesting counter-current of "sex has consequences." It might even be read as a metaphor for STDs. If this is a "conservative take", it's all wrapped up in enough of a flippant overly comical storyline that I doubt anyone will care. It's developed by Nahnatchka Khan who generally treads in absurdist genre spins on the traditional formula (Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23, for example) so there's some of that absurdity here.

 

Running Point (Netflix): In my book this is one of the best casts on TV: Kate Hudson, Drew Tarver, Scott McArthur, Justin Thoreaux, Brenda Song, Jay Ellis, and Jon Glaser. And four of them play siblings quite convincingly. It's a behind-the-look at a female executive in the NBA played by Jeannie Buss, though it never feels like it has a whole lot of verisimilitude to NBA life. Instead, the episodes are arranged more around various themes as sitcoms are wont to do: One episode is more about trades, one episode is about disciplining the players, one episode is about tackling double standards between genders in the front office.

Going Dutch (Fox): An excellent military comedy about a stubborn man (with a capital M) and daughter forced to share commanding duties on a military base.

Unlike MASH which took medics to the front-lines and found humor in bleak situations, this show is more devoid of social commentary about war, because it doesn't take place anywhere near combat. Going Dutch gets a lot of comic mileage from its setting: This is a support base in the Dutch countryside which features a laundromat, bowling alley, and cheese factory (which they refer to as a “formagerie”; hey, I learned a new word).

The targets of satire are the crusty military traditions and classicism of the instutitons are the satire target in the form of the excellent general and failure of a father in General Quinn (Dennis Leary, did not know he had this type of character in him). The chemistry between Taylor Kisiak and Dennis Leary is reason enough to watch this show alone.

Deli Boys (Hulu): Solid mob comedy that gets better as it goes. There probably was a point when “ordinary  people falling too deep into illicit activity that they were stuck in bed with organized crime” was an original comic idea. El Mariachi? Mickey Blue Eyes? By now, it’s pretty old hat but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for something like this which has great execution and even better characters. The show features an all South Asian cast, so part of the fun is taking this small subpopulation of character actors who we generally associate with Glee and Community (Iqbal Thegba); Never Have I Ever (Poorna Jagannathan); Seinfeld (Brian George); and even Queer Eye (Tan France) and turning them into stone cold killers.

Other stuff I'm watching that I've either previously reviewed

Animal Control (Fox): Premiering the same night each week as Going Dutch, it's getting better each week. I've covered it here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyfdQB_mc9I

Ghosts (CBS) and Krapopolis (FOX)-Still two of the strongest comedy programs on TV. They've preiously appeared in my top 10s.

Dark Winds (AMC)-Another new Native American-centered show. A bit more of a slow burn than I'm looking for, but it has an interesting setting.

Top 25 Characters of 2024

 Another delayed listicle. I have long loved doing this 25 characters list.

You can see a couple of them here and another one here

1 Andrew Yancy (Vince Vaughn), Bad Monkey- Like the hard-boiled detective or the steadfast cowboy, Yancy marches to the beat of his own drummer. Yes, he would love to get it on with a hot detective, get his badge back, or enjoy tormenting his waspy neighbor (he’s more chaotic than lawful good), but not if it means letting a white collar criminal go free. It’s the archetype of the wayward American hero across multiple genres, but not many characters can walk the walk,  and talk the talk with such gusto. And it’s Vince Vaughn playing the part, so we know right off the bat, this guy can at least talk that talk.

2 The Goddess Deliria (Hannah Wadddingham) Krapopolis-Let’s face it. Most Gods have a hint of vanity. It’s sort of a requirement for the job, isn’t it? The difference between Deliria and your run-of-the-mill p is that she exists on pure vanity. And enough motherly instinct to make her recognizable for those of us with tough-love mothers. But not too much or the show wouldn’t be as riotously funny.

3 Tom Ripley (Andrew Scott), If Matt Damon’s snub at the Oscars for the 1999 film was one of the biggest tragedies of that era, it’s pretty remarkable that Scott can come in and fill those shoes with such fearlessness. Scott’s Ripley is somehow both more forcefully vindictive, and more understated than Damon’s creepy leech interpretation.

4 Jerry (Mike Patrick O’Brien), What We do in the Shadows-The key to adding a character late into the mix of a show’s run is they have to be rough around the edges. Jerry is a perfect foil in that he has the nerve to call out his fellow vampires on their sloth. Every character choice that went into to Jerry was a winner from his outfit as a Transylvanian butler, to his Pinky-and-the-Brainesque casualness about the task of taking over the world, to his aloofness to his role in a Nandoor-induced love triangle


5 Rogue, X-Men 97- If I were to rewatch an old episode of X-Men, it would be for the cringey puns based on ridiculous regional stereotypes. In other words, the Cajun Gambit, the Canadian lumberjack Wolverine, the Black Pantheresque Storm, and Southern Belle Rogue are the caricatures worth ironically laughing at, with a little bit of 90s child Jubilee adding some seasoning. In this attempt to mature the season to accommodate the aging of its primary fan base, the show has miraculously managed to keep Rogue cringe while giving her an actual arc.

6 and 7 Morgan (Justine Lupe) and Sasha (Timothy Simons), Nobody Wants This- I’ve been slowly learning that the difference between a romantic drama and a romcom is all in the supporting players. If there’s laser focus on the leads, then it’s the Richard Linklater Before series. Add the leads’ social circles as stand-ins for their romantic values, and add an extension a dose of quirk and it’s a party. That’s what you have here with a will-they-won’t-they-oh-no-they-can’t….can-they?

8 Amanda LaRusso (Courtney Henggeler) Cobra Kai- The bizarreness of a modern-day high school environment (with its emphasis on anti-bullying compared to the ‘80s), in which teenagers have to learn karate just to survive a Mad-Max-like dystopia of constant bullying, has had a strong need for a deadpan skeptic like Amanda. But at the end of the series run? Screw it. Amanda as the karate equivalent of a soccer mom feels like a more apt direction at this point.

9 Tindaro (Dougie McMeekin) The Decameron-My favorite show of the year was an upstairs-downstairs comedy set in a century where both sides of the societal divide were equally at the mercy of plague-carrying rats. And the bumbling hypochondriac Tindaro would probably not get very far in the “who lives longest” betting pool. But this rotund ball of delight proved full of mettle in a relatively dynamic arc.

10 Eddie Horniman (Theo James)The Gentlemen-In an era when nepobaby is a bad word, it’s not easy to root for anyone with such generational privilege. But it certainly helps that Eddie is never more than a couple false moves from having his head, the heads of those he cares about, and those under his employ blown off. As the title suggests, he’s a sly operator but also a class act.

11 Rufus Coatesworth, Death and Other Details-Considering there are so many takes on the eccentric, tunnel-vision. detective — whether modeled after Hercules Poroit, Sherlock Holmes or whatever the hell Daniel Craig is doing in Knives Out — it’s pretty remarkable for Mandy Patinkin to come up with such a unique creation here, as the detective entrusted with solving the murder of his protégé’s mother.


12 Dove Maloney (Siobhan Cullen), Bodkin- Fitting squarely in the category of female firecrackers who won’t let anyone put them in a box, Dove is the best of the trope. Of course, it helps for a hard-core journalist to have a great foil, in the hapless podcaster Bodkin (played with aplomb by the introspective Will Forte): A directionless and obtuse foreigner particularly with what she sees is a naive kindness.

13 Principal Cinnamon Scuttleworth (voiced by Phil Lord), Clone High- It was thrilling to see my favorite one-season wonder return to the airwaves but the sharp edges of these characters had been filed off and the new additions were pure vanilla. Except Scuttleworth. He has the hamminess of a cartoon villain with a couple ounces of pathos for good measure. You might enjoy seeing him blown up like a Looney Tunes villain, but you root for him to piece himself back together for his next crazy scheme.


14 Nadja, What We do in the Shadows-The best thing about the “Guillermo and the vampires become tech bros” arc is how enthusiastically Nadja assimilated. Her treatment of Guillermo and most other humans as pesky miscreants who are mostly useful for menial labor and meals, so she was always a good fit for the world of passive aggressive one-upmanship of Wall Street.

15 Dexter (Leo Woodall), One Day- What’s this, the thug from White Lotus is a sensitive heart throb underneath all those tattoos? Well, even as a straight guy, I thought Woodall was pretty hunky. But watching him sell this gender-flipped beauty and the geek romance. I’m impressed.


16 Dr Kristen Bouchard (Katja Herbers) , Evil-The show gets a lot of mileage out of this extremely charismatic actress who telegraphs so much with her face.
17 The Bleacher Creatures, Clone High-We all know that the cool kids in school are never the most interesting. Giving Christopher "Topher" Columbus villain friends was the best thing the second season ever did.  
18 Det. Helen Chamberlain (Danielle MacDonald), The Tourist-A brilliant detective with a heart of gold. That successfully sets up a labyrinthine plot to get away from an evil captor and can't pull it off. That's an interesting choice.
19 Mr Beast (James Donaldson), Beast Games-The Beast Games were a disappointment, but it was an interesting glance into the mind of history's most successful YouTuber. Despite attempts at cancellation, he's one to root for.
20 Ethan Crum (Greg Larsen), The Tourist-Helen, Elliot, meet your comic relief. Now that that's out of the way...
21 Beatrice Worth (Brooke Lena Johnson), Cruel Intentions-If the show (like the movie) is centered against the two amoral step-siblings, then Beatrice is your sidelined hero. She had casual sex with one sibling (let's applaud her for sex positivity) and tried to pledge three times to the sorority of the other, but adolescents are complex and conflicted. She's still the right person to take down the elitism in my book.
22 Android SM 33 (voiced by Nick Frost), Star Wars: Skeleton Crew- Confession, I just li
23 Frank the Temp (I can't even remember; that's the point), Futurama-At long last! Someone who's less respected among the crew than Zoidberg
24 Colin Robinson (Mark Porsch), What We Do in the Shadows-Colin has always been a wonderfully jagged fit to the rest of the vampires, and I'll miss him tremendously. Who ever thought of a villain who's super powers were based off boringness. 
25 Heather (Edi Patterson), Resident Alien-Heather, the avian alien who visits Earth for a bureacratic check-up, has a resistant courtship and an epic whirlwind romance. It's thanks to Heather, we now know how Harry's gills are cleaned. We are eternally greatful.